Event: Target

"Y'know, a few laps," s/he twirled shiz finger in the air to indicate the parking lot. "Some exertion, li'l heavy breathing? Clear your head." S/he shrugged, trying and probably failing to radiate innocence.

Then shook shiz head. "But we don't need you exhausted, and that's where more practice is headed. You don't know something before you know it, it is what it is. And it is a good start."

“I- not about the laps,” Tanner replied, brow furrowing, the innuendo going so far over his head it didn’t even cast a shadow. “You said- about... the protagonist of what?”

He ducked his head again, still- uncertain, unsure how much progress it was to be qualified as a good start, but they all knew a lot more about it than he did, so if they thought it was progress, well, maybe it was.

S/he blinked owlishly down at him. "Of the movie." S/he pointed up at the air, indicating the music. "Sideplots don't get their own background music, dude. If they do, it's the same shit over and over again. You said it yourself, nobody notices it usually. Just like a movie. I only know it's there because it's literally touching me, all the time."

“I don’t-” Tanner started, before he cut himself off, going pink. “I hadn’t thought about it like that. Is that- is that helpful?” He wasn’t sure if that was useful information, if he should be trying to do something with the thought, if it could tell Riesy something about how it worked.

S/he shrugged again. "That's on you, hoss. Troubles aren't textbook. You've got to feel them out and...like Venn diagram up with other people. Like I said, Troubled kids experiment. But if it feels like something that could help you, if it's clearing your head instead of fogging it, then it probably is. This is the nicest you've been since we started this little palaver, so I'm guessing it's pushing you in the right direction."

Disappointment settled over him at the shrug and the confirmation that there really weren’t any clear rules about how any of this worked. At the notion that he was just going to have to feel it out- that wasn’t something he knew how to do, it wasn’t something he was good at. Lilybeth had given him instructions, and he’d been able to follow them, and that’d apparently helped, but improvising his way through a problem was- a problem in and of itself.

Worse was the sudden sting of Riesy’s comment; he wasn’t trying to be difficult. He wasn’t trying to be- not nice, he hadn’t been... He didn’t think he’d been unreasonable, he’d been trying to moderate his tone and pick his words, he’d been trying to keep his posture small, he didn’t know what else he could do and still try to explain himself.

He was usually better at this. He was usually better at keeping his head down.

He should know, to keep his head down. He should never have-

“I don’t really know how to do that,” he said, the words careful and as neutral as he could manage. “Venn-diagram, or- that.”

Well now Riesy felt like s/he had kicked a dog. A big, solid one. S/he knocked shiz knee into his. "Sorry." S/he held a hand out empty in the air, searching for words and remembering Adam Martin and what a fuckbag he had been. They had definitely come at this entirely wrong. S/he flipped the hand over.

"I don't...mean to be snippy myself. But I am not going to hurt you on purpose, so you need to stop snapping at me like I will try." S/he slid the toe of shiz boot to bump against the toe of his sneaker. "We do not...expect you. To just...know." S/he waved the hand around. "How to deal with all this. We are more than happy to teach you, since we are all on the same side, okay? We all had to start somewhere. To find where you start..." S/he couldn't find a way to end that one, so s/he shifted shiz weight and said instead, "It's gotta be a feedback loop. Team effort. How's that."

“I-”  Tanner hesitated, words caught in his throat, uneasy and confused, and he knew what was safe.  Safe was a meaningless platitude to deflect away from his uncertainty, was a polite smile and an agreement and under no circumstances trusting that casual assurance.  Safe was backing off and knowing better and not giving Riesy or any of them a chance to get a better look at his vulnerabilities.

Safe hadn’t gotten him very far, in the last few days.

“It’s- I just.  Really... didn’t even know where to start.  We- what we hear, what we’re told- it’s.  Not very useful.  There’s... not much to work with.  But if- I can try.  Things.  I just- don’t know what to try.”

S/he leaned down, not quite into his space but sure to hold his gaze. "What you're told is a buncha bullshit," s/he hissed, thinking of all their previous conversations. "And it gets innocent people hurt. It's hurt you-"

S/he drew up short, thinking harder on that last in conjunction with other things Tanner had said. "It's...Tanner, the monster doesn't know you're the main character yet."

Tanner flinched, drawing back and tucking his shoulders down. He wasn’t- he didn’t want to argue, wasn’t even sure he disagreed, not really, but he wasn’t-

His hands shook, and he tried to force a smile, tried to shrug it off, because he couldn’t deal with that, not now. He couldn’t-

-he knew that it hurt people. He knew that. He’d known that, and he’d still-

-he couldn’t. Not now. Now, he needed- he needed to focus on anything else.

“I- no, it, I don’t- it shouldn’t,” he said, because that- that was marginally safer. Was better. “I- it shouldn’t know I exist, I haven’t- been anywhere near here, not even- when we evacuated.”

S/he raised shiz own shaking hand to where the music swept dangerously low to wrap around his secrets and shiz throat. "Then it can't remember you, and it won't hear you. C'mon." S/he jerked shiz head to move them all on away from this shitshow. Lingering could only make him worse, especially with the other four hovering. The music wasn't kicking up into a full score yet, was in fact more sparse kettle drumming like the tension before discovered secrets, but Riesy didn't doubt shiz ability to rouse that particular beast in shiz state of mind. "I bet we don't even run into the damned thing."

S/he led the way to the edge of the parking lot, but faltered at the edge where the blacktop turned to cement. S/he couldn't do it. S/he knew damn well they had escaped, but s/he just...couldn't take the step. S/he turned to the group, miserable. S/he didn't want to ask, but... "S...Someone else go first."

Tanner followed after Riesy, not crowding, but staying close- no matter how uncomfortable the conversation had been, he’d rather be nearby.

When they reached the edge of the pavement, and Riesy stopped, he stopped too- until he understood, and he answered her reluctant request by putting a foot out and testing the surface of the sidewalk. It felt solid enough, and he stepped forward, giving it a second before he flashed her a tentative smile.

“Think we’re good,” he offered.

S/he let out the breath s/he had been holding when he didn't sink. Then felt like an asshole. S/he looked up from the pavement to his tentative smile and then down to shiz shaking hands. "This is so fucking stupid," s/he said on a humorless laugh.

S/he swept by him, not close enough to touch but wanting to even through shiz hurt and chagrin. S/he stomped on the cement with shiz first step to try and quell shiz shaking. "All that time in the air, never had a damn problem, never scared of fallin', now I'm ready to slip in my own shit tryna get away from the ground. All that noise this morning about bein the one to catch threats ahead of time, gotta send somebody else ahead- Thank you." S/he stopped and turned, putting a hand to Tanner's waist to pull him into a hug. "I never said thanks."

It was probably awkward given their mental states, but that was how McGlynn's did it, and Tanner had seemed to respond positively to Isabelle and shiz own contacts earlier...s/he hoped a fucking hug wouldn't set him back further.

Sympathy welled up at Riesy’s self-conscious complaints; that, he understood, and he wished he could think of something to say, something that might help.

All things considered, though, he doubted any of the standard platitudes were going to sound particularly helpful coming from him, when it was so obvious he didn’t know what he was doing- no matter how honest the thought behind them might be.

“It’s not stupid,” he started, because that, at least, might be fair. “It’s not like the ground didn’t fall out from under you, I think that’s probably a good reason to be a little jittery-”

He wasn’t expecting the hug. He faltered, confused, but returned the hug anyway, arms settling around Riesy’s back. He pulled her a step closer on reflex, trying to provide the reassurance he wanted to offer, but didn’t know how to phrase.

Riesy rested shiz cheek on his chest and filled shiz lungs up, sighing it out. S/he could feel shiz Trouble receding, coming back under control with the breathing and calming touch. S/he laced shiz fingers together behind his back, under his coat. "Sorry I can be such a pushy twat sometimes; you're coming along," s/he said, voice muffled by his shirt and how tired s/he was already. "Thank you for pulling me out even though you think I'm being punished."

...When she said it like that, that bluntly, even if her tone was teasing, Tanner couldn’t help but flinch. It sounded- awful, the way it always had, the way he’d always hated.

“...I- no matter what I- no matter what this is,” he said, freeing one hand to motion vaguely at nothing in particular, trying to encompass everything and the intangible nothing that were their Troubles, “it’s not- you deserve to get back safe. You all do.”

S/he fucking snorted and drew away. Of course. Us and them. Just like always. "We, Tanner. You're part of 'all' now, too. So we all deserve to get back safe." S/he unhooked the sunglasses from where s/he'd hung them on shiz pack and slid them on while s/he plodded after Isabelle. S/he didn't want to deal with even normal sight anymore.